This blog is centered on my adventures being a mom, however I am starting to blog two and a half years after my son was actually born. Due to this delay, it only seems fitting to take you back in time to where this all started.
Prior to having Drew my husband and I knew we wanted to have kids but after finishing our bachelor degrees we wanted to work on our careers first and that was our original path. After being married for three years (2005) my grandmother had just recently passed away and realizing how precious family is we started talking about having our first baby. We never dreamed it wouldn’t be “easy” and so the journey began.
During the first year of trying… a whole lot of nothing happened! Then by the second year my doctors were talking about fertility tests and potential fertility drugs. All of my test came back “normal”, which is great yet bad, because now there was nothing to fix. The doctors were suggesting I go on fertility drugs. I was uncomfortable with the risky side effects of fertility drugs because running parallel to us trying to start a new family, my first family circle was falling apart. Right after Brett and I were married in 2001 my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer that had already metastasized to her bones. By 2006 (a year into us trying for a baby) my mom started losing her battle with cancer and she had just lost her own mom (my grandma) a year earlier. Then at the beginning of 2007 my mom’s closest sibling (my uncle) was killed in a shooting. It was devastating to all of us but in my moms fragile state it was most devastating to her. After his death we started watching my mom slip away. To date watching her die has been the most painful experience of my existence. Needless to say, any trying for a baby was on the farthest back burner. My mom passed away with most of her closest, surviving, family members present and by her side on August 1, 2007… a day burned into my memory like it happened only a moment ago. After such severe losses, my life was taking a pivotal turn although I wasn’t sure where.
After a major event in your life the experts say you shouldn’t do anything drastic or make permanent decisions. I knew this and it made perfect sense, so I resigned from my job, got my first and only tattoo (memorial tattoo), and then started seriously working on my quest to have a baby. All three decisions were very drastic and permanent (LOL). Largely because of my moms cancer I refused to go on fertility drugs. Instead we found a very knowledgeable acupuncturist that specialized in fertility and coupled with that started to change our diets. We started acupuncture (both my husband and I) in February of 2008 and were both skeptical at first but we figured if in the end we didn’t conceive the acupuncture could not hurt. If anything we needed it to decompress all the stress we were under during the previous three years due to the deaths of so many close family members and we sadly weren’t done in that department.
My dad could not handle losing my mom and his health was spiraling out of control. The majority of taking care of him fell directly on my sister and I. So here I was trying to start a family while struggling to hold on to what was left of my original one. I didn’t fully understand how bad off my dad truly was. Looking back now I wonder if my not fully understanding was a way for me to protect myself. I am not completely certain if it was self-preservation but it worked and so did the acupuncture. We found out we were expecting our first baby at the end of three months of acupuncture (May 30th).
We were ecstatic to know we were finally on the path to creating our own family but here we were again with a parallel of sadness running along side our happiness… my dad was now at the end of his life. His health had diminished drastically during the same month we found out we were expecting (May of 2008). My dad died June 13th, 2008 and I never got to tell him he was finally going to be a grandfather. After my dad passed away the pregnancy was in full swing and so was the morning sickness! I was terribly sick for the first 13 weeks and I went into preterm labor at 28 weeks. Thankfully they were able to stop the labor and I didn’t have Drew until 39 weeks, January 30th, 2009…A NEW YEAR. A new fresh year that I started to realize had the potential for JUST HAPPINESS. Nothing sad was on the horizon for the first time since my grandma passed in 2005 and we had this beautiful baby to love, adore and marvel at. A cloud was lifting and I have been loving, adoring and marveling at the once baby now little boy since he was born.
This was a very emotional and yet will be inspiring to others who are in similar situations...well said Syl keep up the good work..Love, Aunt Kathy
Posted by: Kathleen Rechtzigel | 08/28/2011 at 03:45 PM
Sylvia...wow. Thank you so much for ripping off the bandaid. That took a lot if courage and I for one am so glad you did. Looking forward to reading more!
Posted by: Mindy Wolfe | 08/29/2011 at 03:55 AM
Thank you for your support ladies. I really appreciate you reading the blog and your kind words. =)
Posted by: S. K. | 08/29/2011 at 05:52 AM
Aunt Kath, as you know there were actually more losses than I even was able to mention... your mom was one. =( Her and Aunt Mary, also now gone, were the last of that generation and hit me hard. I miss them all deeply. That's why I am determined to cook their recipes (even if they aren't quite right =P). I love you and your family. Thank you so much for your support. OXOXOXO
Posted by: S. K. | 08/29/2011 at 08:07 AM
Sylvia, wow...I can't wait to read more!
Posted by: anne gokey | 08/29/2011 at 12:57 PM